It’s 10:25pm. On a normal childless household- that time is nothing but another episode that you’re binge watching. For me- it’s another hour that went by that I didn’t sleep. In the last 10 minutes. I dropped cough syrup all over the floor, I dropped the phone on my toe, and my daughter who is very sleepy, sick and congested is awake watching me eat a burrito in 2 minutes while I zone out and down a white claw. All I was thinking about is how people have the nerve to ask me to have another baby. As if my mental health is not clinging on to dear life. I swear if anyone ask me about 2nd baby ima punch them straight in the throat.
Nothing sucks more than a sick baby. Right now Camila is so tired, and so sleepy but she can’t get comfortable to sleep because each and every every way she wakes up don’t congestion. I already gave her medicine, saline drops, saline baby humidifier and a humidifier. Only thing that kind of helps for some reason is sleeping on the couch or me sitting up folding her up right.
I have yet to shower, wash my face or brush my teeth. Oscars on a work destination so he’s not here to help, but I sometimes feel guilty for resenting him for him being a man. So much falls on a woman. We cook, we clean, we feed our baby, we entertain them, and I don’t know what else but I just have resentment. It’s not his fault. But it is. Because we’re a team. I shouldn’t have to remind him how he can help an overwhelmed Mayra. It’s not too much to ask for some alone time- but I also have to learn that alone time doesn’t mean time to catch up on chores. Even tho I’d kill to wash dishes without a baby clinging to the bottom half crying. Right now, I want to cry. I just can’t. I teared up earlier.. but I need a good cry. I’m tired. I’m exhausted I’m really really exhausted. That type of exhausted where your eyes burn, where you pick them and they make thy inflated noise. I just want to shower with cold water and have clean teeth. By the time I go to sleep… she’ll be waking up. Why is this so hard
Just being honest- 