We’re told as hairstylist, we’re like therapist. It’s something I would hear over and over when I was barely a baby stylist. Look, I’m nosey af- I want to know everything and nothing at all at the same time. I’m super empathetic, so I always have to have a boundary within myself to not feel too bad for everyone sitting in my chair. Because then I feel like it’s my job to “fix” them. My chair gets people to talk, I’ve heard funny stories, I’ve heard drama, people confessing to things I never imagined they would do, but the stories that get me .. are always the sad ones. I always feel so bad because some people don’t deserve the hardships they go thru & I wish I could take that pain away from them. ❗️ trigger warning- miscarriage story❗️ About a year ago I had a client come in. She’s been a long time client of mine. She’s very upfront, doesn’t give two fucks how she comes off and I mean that in a nice way. She came in and I did my usual small talk. She sits down, and says I almost didn’t want to come to this appointment. Which I totally get. I’ve noticed that as I get older I get anxiety going to plans that I had agreed to, and I get so embarrassed that I get anxiety about it. Sometimes I cry because I don’t want to go to things, and as a 31 year old adult.. I will literally tell myself to get it to-fucking-gether. I remember laughing and saying I totally get it. Then she sits down and nonchalant but angry and annoyed and says I’m pretty sure I’m having a miscarriage right now. She mentioned how she was annoyed with her body for not creating why she wanted. She was angry & she had every right to ask why me? It completely took me for a loop. I never know what to say in those situations, because you can never say the right thing and when you think it’s the right thing it’s oh so fucking wrong. I don’t remember what I said to her- and I’m pretty sure she didn’t give a fuck what I had to say, even if it would’ve helped her.But as she left -my dumb ass said Good luck, I hope it sticks. Like wtf?! Why would I say that. A year went by- she did in fact have a miscarriage. But this time she had a small baby bump. I’m pregnant, this one sticked. I’m going to find out the gender later today. I was happy to hear that 1: my stupid ass comment did not offend her(maybe it did) but now it’s a different situation and 2: her family is growing. As happy as I am for every amazing pregnancy i kind of get to be apart of, I also get sad. I always love love love hearing about my clients new addition. But I always wish I was at that stage. Where I’m growing a bump, and I get to raise a baby mayra.. one day I’ll be able to share such amazing news with my clients. I get to see her in a couple weeks. I’m excited to hear how her delivery went .
I’m not sure if anyone knows this, but as a hairstylist we Intake a lot of peoples energies. If we don’t know how to get rid of it, it sticks to us. Especially negative energy- I mean that in a bad way and in a unintended way. It consumes us sometimes. It’s not always sad / bad news. I get to hear the good news. I love to hear good news, I had another client share that she was pregnant, then I cut her moms hair today and it was just so beautiful to hear how my pregnant client was so nervous to tell her parents that she got nauseous. But the whole time her mom said I knew she was pregnant, you can instantly see it in her face. I just wanted her to tell me on her own. Mexican mom’s I swear. You breathe a certain way and they already know you’re pregnant before you even know. I know for a fact that this new mom to be is going to be amazing. I say that because she has an amazing mother, a man who is so deeply in love with her.. and I just get good vibes from this one. I got to hear such beautiful news and then just like that my last client of the day on the same day opened up to me. .
Today was my first day doing her hair, jazmine started her treatment and jazmine said she was telling me something very personal, I didn’t want to cut her off and ask her to move chairs. I was wondering wtf was taking to long. When she sent her pictures, I could tell she was sad by just looking at the selfies she sent. Her eyes, her eyes looked like she had been crying, or holding onto pain- it’s a look I’ve felt before.. and seen. She was so sweet, but the energy felt sad. She sat in my chair, and I could tell it was taking everything in her to be here. Again, I’m nosey AF but I never pry on peoples personal life. I just let them talk if they want to share that with me. I also try to avoid questions because one never knows what someone went thru. Mother’s Day just happened and we were watching a show while she was getting her hair done, and I without thinking asked her if she had any babies, she said no. Then she asked if I did. I also said no. I crossed my fingers hoping I didn’t cause a trigger, like I don’t ask how was Mother’s Day because what if they don’t have a mom, or they just passed, or they don’t have e a good relationship so I avoid certain questions. She asked if I wanted any- I answered. She then started telling me how she was in a relationship that recently ended ,and she had been pregnant ❗️TW: miscarriage❗️she had mentioned how she was 16 weeks pregnant, everything you can imagine that was wrong with her. Was wrong. She wanted to keep her. But her boyfriend pressured her into not. She told me how she was angry with him. She was depressed, she said I wrote a letter. I said my goodbyes. I didn’t want to be here. If it wasn’t for my dad calling me. I wouldn’t be here. He said something pushed him to call me. I cannot relate to her losing her baby, but I can relate to not wanting to be here. I just listen. I try my absolute hardest not to make it about me- even tho that’s not my intention. I never know what to say. From experience seeing someone grieve- sometimes it’s best to not say anything. I told her I hope this isn’t insensitive, but I believe everything happens for a reason. Unfortunately, shitty shit happens and it’s a way of god or the universe having other plans for us. The only reason I said that was because of what she was saying about her ex- boyfriend. She dodged a bullet. Every story that gets told in my chair is something I can take with me. I value these talks, I’m honored that anyone who wants to share part of them, because they are being vulnerable and it’s not easy saying things that wish wasn’t even happening. It’s hard to leave work and not think about it. It’s hard not to ask why? Why do bad things happen to good people. All I can do is pray for her. Provide a ear and maybe some dumb ass comments that I will cringe at later. Trying my best to provide a good outcome with their hair. To have them feel a little better, confident and beautiful. I hope she finds peace, I hope she finds happiness, & endless love and support. She seemed like a good person. Good people deserve thy and more.
Sending love to anyone who related to this blog. 🌈
Just being honest- 